



J 



^Uhe 

CAnti- Kaiser^ 
^OEM 
^OOK 



By 
w. A.. Cameron 



Terry, Montana 
1918 



¥#*^ 



The CAnti'Kaiser <J^oem <Boolc 



^Uhe 

CAnti-Kaisev 

^oem Book 



By 
W. A. Cameron 



Terry, Montana 

1918 



Copyright 1910fby W. A. Cameron 



All Rights Reserved 






ICI.A5 1232^J 



INOEFBNDENT 
PRINTING CO. 



! I LK S CITY 
I O N T A N A 



i-tb II 1919 



^^ 









Dedicated to 
Licking the Kaiser- 



CONTENTS 



Pa^e 

God Bless and Protect You, Our Boys at the Front 11 

Der Kaiser Vilhelni 12 

The Devil Outdone by the Kaiser 15 

If the Devils in Hell in a Mass Should Rebel They Would Not 

be a Match for the Kaiser 18 

God Bless Her, the Red Cross Nurse 19 

The Kaiser, He's a Skunk 21 

We're Going to Get the Kaiser 22 

Oh ! Old Uncle Sam Has Come Out of the West ...._ _ 23 

He's der Biggest Dhing Oudt und He's Noav Getting Inn 21 

To Hell With His Old Iron Cross 25 

Old Glory the Pride of Our Nation so Wide 26 

We Know How to Shoot With a Gun 27 

Our Grand Old Uncle Sam 28 

We Can Stand for the Conserving if Our Soldier Boys Are Fed.... 29 

The Army and Navy's Own Y. M. C. A 30 

Must Me und Gott Crawfish Vay Back to Vare Ve Dit Peginn 31 

Is a Letter on the Way From My Bo}^ Across the Sea? 34 

Get Behind the Man Behind the Gun 35 

There's Nothing too Good for Our Boys at the Front 37 

Made in Gei*many 38 

Ven I Sehdart Me to Clean Up der Ocean 39 

A Prayer of Der Kaiser 40 

The War Savings Stamp 42 

We'll All Take a Whack at Smashing the Kaiser 43 

I'm Proud to Wear the Uniform of Uncle Sam 45 

Der Cherman Kultur 46 

The World Has No Use for the Kaiserly Brute 47 

I'd Like to Dip the Kaiser in the Brimstone Pit 48 



CONTENTS-Continued 



They Furnished Me Tliese in My Duffel Kit 49 

AVe'll Whip Him to a Frazzel and .March Tiito Berlin 50 

We've AVandered Today Over Belgium 51 

Because We Are After the Kaiser 52 

Yankee Doodle 54 

America 55 

Dixie Land 56 

Columbia tlie Gem of the Ocean 58 

When AVe Are .Vfter Fritz 59 

"Bug-House" Bill 60 

Der Survival of der Fittest 61 

Come Home to Your Home Sweet Home 63 

The Married Slacker 64 

The Kaiser's up a Tree 66 

You've no Equal in Hell Bill, Co 'Way! Go Away! 67 

Backward! Turn Backward, Bill, in Thy Bright 68 

Making Good Use of the Cooties 70 

The Melting Pot 72 

Awaiven, World! Behold the Light! 73 



GOD BLESS AND PROTECT YOU, OUR BOYS AT THE FRONT 

Though war brings privation, 

Remember, our Nation 

Is looking to you to help stand the War's brunt; 

Though the Hun tries to fool you, 

He never will rule you; 

God bless and protect you, our boys at the Front. 

For Freedom you 're standing 

And freedom demanding ; 

On, over the trenches, the Germans you'll hunt. 

The whole "World will watch you, 

No Kaiser '11 debauch you; 

God bless and protect you, our boys at the Front. 

Though shells bui'st around you 

And gas fumes confound you, 

And Huns your location unceasingly hunt : 

Be brimful of ardor. 

Fight harder and harder ; 

"We know you will conquer, our boys at the Front. 

Though far 'cross the ocean. 

Your loved ones' devotion 

"Will fervently pray you withstand every stunt. 

Give up to him? Never! 

But rout him forever. 

God bless you, our Sammies, our boys at the Front. 

The Kaiser ! The Kaiser ! 

The "World's a despiser 

Of him and his methods — his every affront. 

He's a brute, vile, inhuman; 

Sparing not child or woman ; 

We know you will get him, our boys at the Fi'ont, 



12 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



DER KAISER VILHELM 

Long time ago mine fodder, ho, dit leave to rae 

Der Greadt Enibire of Che^man5^ 

He plocked id oudt to pe so greadt 

No embire eould imidate. 

To liellub puild ub dis greadt domain, 

He dook from Prance, Alsace-Lorraine. 

Und ven der Embire fell to me, 

Der Embire of Chermany, 

Den mine greadt headt raitin it whirled 

A blan for Chermany to rule der vorld. 

Der greadt Krupp gun vorks turned me oudt 

(rreadt cannons, fire und schell to spoudt. 

Mine armies I pegan to make 
Brebaring dem der eardt to dake. 
Greadt fordts, der landt I puildt for me, 
Und pattle shibs to schveep der sea. 
Greadt schemes, mitin mine headt, I had — 
Eailways from Berlin to Paedad. 

Und open ports on effery sea 

Vould pe der pride of Chermany ; 

Und show mine bower der whole vorlt drough, 

Der bower of Vilhelm Number Two. 

Mine heardt's svelled up mit ein desire — 

"For Chermany a Vorldt Empire." 

Der Cherman flag o'er eart unfurled, 

Und Vilhelm ruling all der vorld. 

All odders I'd lay on der shelf 

Und rule der vorld mine Vilhelm self. 

Mine armies were alreatty yet 

To schmoke und fight und schoot to det. 

Ven I'd brebared each pattle shib, 
Den on mine shoulder placed der chip ; 
Den shook mine fist each nation's face 
Und dared dem moofe id oudt of blace. 
Servia at Austria make der face ; 
I dink dot chip dey make misblace. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 13 



To do dis ding she has no righdt, 

So niit me I makes Servia fighdt. 

Den France comes charging in mit schkorn; 

All righdt, Vilhelm vill dake you on. 

I go mit Pelgiiim bart vay drough, — 

She vants make fight mit Vilhelm too. 

Yaw, Pelgium pristles up to me, — 
All righdt! I'll make her numper dree. 
Den Russia giffs to me some lib, 
I vorn her nod to touch dot chip ; 
She do — I dake her — numper four, 
Und on her, Vilhelm, makes me vor. 

A liddle vhile I rouse aroundt 

Und from dese gountries dake much groundt. 

Dem liddle yellow men, der Japs, 

Dem liddle togs, at me make yaps; 

Mit Kaiser Vilhelm she vill strive, 

All righdt, — I'll make dem numper five. 

Den Italy, she like to mix. 

All righdt, — she's Vilhelm 's numper six. 

England comes in it, from der stardt, 

Und shakes dot chip to proke mine heardt. 

She gets her navy on der sea 

Und tries to do some dings to me. 

She hass no righdt mit me to mix, — 
I'll sink her shibs, dere no goot, nix. 
Dough seffen nations mit me vor, 
I'd fighdt me seffen nations more. 
Portugal pristles upp so greadt — 
I schust vill call her "numper eight." 

Roumania next svings into line, — 
I clean her up, dot makes me nine. 
I look aroundt some more again, 
Comes San Merino, numper ten. 
Dot liddle blace, id makes me laugh — 
Off nations, she's der kleinen calf. 

I'm here und dere among mine foes, 
Und chase dem quickly, til dey goes. 



14 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



Mit Zeppelins, so pig und greadt, 
I'll vhip each European State 
Dot mit me fights und hinters me, 
Und drife Old England off der sea. 

I'll magk me defilish machines, 
Und magk der sea mit supmarines. 
Now Chinamen, mit yellow skins 
Und slanting eyes und spindle shins, 
Comes butting in, — id makes surbrise ; 
All righdt, I'll straighten up der eyes! 

I'll schvear dot dis iss numper eleven, 

Und many chinks I'll send to Heafen. 

America, I blanely see, 

Iss make der ugly face at me. 

I cares me nodding now for you, 

Mine supmarines vill singk you too. 

Come on ! Come on ! You, von und all ! 
Come on ! You nations, greadt und schmall 
'Tis Vilhelm sehbeaks, Vilhelm der Two, 
I cares me nodding, not for you ; 
I care me nod von tinkers dam ; 
I'll lick der vorld und Uncle Sam. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 15 



THE DEVIL OUTDONE BY THE KAISER 

I, the Devil, Solferino, Satan, from the deepest depths of Hell 

Leave my sulphur seas a-boiling, and on earth have come a spell. 

Away in deepest darkness, in my sulphurous, reeking pit, 

I had heard my Kaiser Vilhelm raises rival Hell and will not quit. 

You, Vilhelm HohenzoUern, King of Prussia, at your nod 

All the earth is stirred to frenzy, every law you have outlawed. 

Emperor of Germany ! You're sure a daisy, make all earth to feel your 

prod; 
Posing as the Envoy Extraordinary of Almighty God. 

Dearest Vilhelm, in your ragings, I've been very close to you. 
Striving ever to direct you in the damned things that you do. 
From the time you were an infant, weak and helpless and unborn, 
J have trained you for a monster that could make the earth forlorn. 
Once I had a son named Nero, whom I thought none could excel ; 
But you've got him beat, my Vilhelm, beat by miles in raising Hell. 
Compared with you, my darling Velhelm, he does not amount to 

much; 
His most devilish transactions, gentle as a mother's touch. 

Vilhelm, I will tell you something: This is not a bluffer's bluff; 

To erect Hell's earthly annex I had need of sternest stuff. 

From your infancy 1 watched you, saw the Demon in you grow 

'Til I knew you were more hellish than my hellions down below. 

I bestowed on you ambition, egotism of such class 

That you never might discover you were an egregious ass. 

Made your mind like mind of madman, with some lucid spells thrown 

in; 
That could torture soul and body, though they were your kith and kin. 

Vilhelm, you are dangerous ever, dangerous as you can be ; 
"With my Hell-bestowed hypnotic power you can now out-devil me. 
With magnetic force grown in you, force that can your people sway ; 
Force I gave you from the cradle, makes the Hell I see today. 
I, to make you grim and testy, gloating in War's stern alarm; 
Vilhelm, though you may not know it, I gave you that withered arm. 
That left withered arm that dangles by your side both night and day 
Embitters life, and good impulses from your being drives away. 

You've no sentiment, no pity; nought but hate within you dwells, 
All you've wrought to those about you's worse than many, many hells. 
You have hate for all things English — there's one place we both agree; 



ll> THE ANTI-KAjISER POEM BOOK 



For the good on earth she's rendered, I shall hate eternally. 
You, you Kultured Demon, Kaiser, you and I will play our part; 
Though your damnable proceedings surely broke your mother's heart. 
Mind's disease, of Hohenzollern's, killed your father and will you. 
Though more quick than I expected, son, though you are Kaiser too. 

Through your Hellish machinations, spreading lies instead of truth, 
You, my boy, my stubborn Kaiser, have destroyed the German youth. 
Through your greed for German conquest, conquest hellish in design, 
You've out-deviled me, your teacher; Vilhelm, you are doing fine. 
Though your schemes of empire's greatness were surmised on every 

hand. 
No one thought that in your madness you'd kill Archduke Ferdinand. 
All the traits I planted in you have fulfilled my heart's desire; 
You have made your friendliest nations "pull your chestnuts from 

the fire." 

Oh, the spell has been so perfect! Vilhelm, you've out-deviled me! 
Son, you have your dad out-Sataned, and I lift my hat to thee. 
All Hell smiled in assent, gladly, and considered it was grand 
When you hid your trail so nicely after killing Ferdinand. 
You have set the world on fire with your hellish, foul designs; 
With all kinds of battle horrors, with your submarines and mines. 
With the outraged girls and women — even maimed the little child; 
At your looting, plundering, burning, Bill, I sat me down and smiled. 

You have disemboweled women, you've betrayed and you've defamed. 
And the super-devil in you never, never can be tamed. 
Mutilating little children; other tortures you've applied; 
With the power your mailed fist gave you, you have had them 

crucified. 
Vilhelm, when 1 found you did it, how you sundered things apart, 
How you ruined great cathedrals and destroyed their works of art. 
While the hills reverberated with the cannon's awful roar. 
Mixed with slaughter, havoc, carnage — shedding crimson tides of gore. 

You've uprooted France's orchards, on the hill and on the plain; 
Many years will pass before they'll be restored to earth again. 
Your great plotting and intriguing shows a cankered master mind ; 
Treachery I cannot teach you. — you have left me far behind. 
You've no mercy for the baby clinging to the mother's breast; 
You've the nerve to ask God's blessing for this crime and all the rest. 
O'er the battle fields of Belgium, o'er the battle fields of France, 
I have seen your handiwork. Dear Vilhelm, recognized it at a glance. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 17 



On the plains of distant Poland you have never spared the young; 

Nearly every child you've murdered, and you're still at large unhung. 

Liar, hypocrite and bluffer — there your magnitude is great ; 

I, no more, can be your teacher ; gladly will I imitate. 

I am now chagrined. Dear Vilhelm, that I ever tried to teach; 

You've outclassed me far, Dear Vilhelm — you're a dandy, you're a 

peach. 
^4jid now, my son, I'll go to Hell to oversee my work; 
You're pulling with the Ottoman — you have out-turked the Turk. 

The worst I think, the worst I do, 

Cannot compare, my son, to you ; 

Your shells, your gas, your bombs, your mines. 

Excel, by far, my worst designs. 

There's nothing I can think or do 

That ever can compare with you. 

Now Vilhelm, Dear Son Vilhelm, when I see what you have done 

I am content to stay at home, out-deviled by my son. 



18 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



IF THE DEVILS IN HELL IN A MASS SHOULD REBEL THEY 
WOULD NOT BE A MATCH FOR THE KAISER. 

The Kaiser 's the scourge of the civilized earth, 

He's self -estimated for more than he's worth; 

He's a thick headed brute through the world run amuck; 

If he'd never been born we would all be in luck. 

A depraved and unprincipled monster most foul 

AVhose devilish deeds would outshame a ghoul. 

If the devils in Plell in a mass should rebel 

They would not be a match for the Kaiser. 

He's ruined all Europe and torn it to shreds, 

Wherever he wanders destruction he spreads; 

No country is safe from his inliuman hordes, 

From their guns and their bayonets, their pistols and swords. 

When he spreads desolation, when he can destroy 

It fills him with pleasure, it fills him with joy. 

All the devils in Hell in a mass may rebel. 

But they'll not be a match for the Kaiser. 

Yes, he spreads desolation wherever he goes, 

He's turning his friends into bitterest foes. 

The once teeming cities he's razed to the earth. 

And their populace drove from the land of their birth. 

And priceless art treasures from earth he's effaced; 

Art treasures that never more can be replaced. 

Uncle Samuel's Sammies are now getting onto the job 

And they're going to get him, this insolent snob. 

For they're going to out-raatch the Kaiser. 

On the conquest of earth he has long set his heart ; 
To accomplish his ends he's used science and art. 
The groans of the wounded, the land stre-WTi with dead 
Cause no pangs of conscience to enter his head. 
He has poor helpless women and children defiled ; 
How can that with Kultur become reconciled? 
If the devils in Hell in a mass should rebel 
They would not be a match for the Kaiser. 



THE ANTI-KAISBR POEM BOOK 19 

GOD BLESS HER, THE RED GROSS NURSE. 

Our boys across the seas have gone 

To fight for Freedom's cause; 

And they'll not return from the land of the Hun 

'Till they've installed Freedom's laws. 

The bursting shells from the Boches' guns 

Explode on the left and the right ; 

And many of our o^vn light hearted boys 

Will never return from the fight. 

But our boys who are maimed in the dreaful fray 

Would fare very, very much worse, 

Except for the care they get each day 

From that angel, the Red Cross Nurse. 

She's left her home in this happy land, 

To do her bit for the right ; 

She brightens the days, on every hand, 

When all seems dark as night. 

She is everything to the wounded boys 

Who are far from the loved ones at home ; 

And she brings to his life a ray of joy 

Afar 'cross the ocean's foam. 

With a tender hand, and a smile of cheer, 

His blues she helps disperse ; 

And his troubles she'll cause to disappear. 

The American Red Cross Nurse. 

The Huns for years on years had planned 

For a German World Empire : 

And they thought the world they could command ; 

This was their Hun desire. 

Uncle Sam, for long, would take no part 

In this world wide, awful din; 

'Till the things they've done, with their hellish art, 

At last have forced him in. 

When they sank his ships on the seas' wide ways, 

And proved a world wide curse ; 

Uncle Sam was forced into the frays; 

With him came the Red Cross Nurse. 

She has left her home, and all that's dear. 

In the land of America ; 

And gone to the front, with a heart sincere, 



20 THE ANTI-KMSER POEM BOOK 



To the lands where the cannons bray. 

She there gives aid to the maimed in the strife, 

She is there with her soothing hand ; 

She is taking the place of the mother or wife, 

Afar from her native land. 

All praise to these girls from the Land of the Free 

Who help lighten up war's curse; 

At Humanity 's call she has crossed the sea ; 

God bless her ! The Red Cross Nurse. 




THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 21 



THE KAISER, HE'S A SKUNK. 

You've all heard of Kaiser William, of the Devil he's possessed; 
He's the blackest kind of villain that the Devil e'er enmeshed. 
Like the trade-marks, of some products that we often used to see. 
He, this brutal, unchained monster, he was made in Germany. 
Bragging 'bout his German kultur, 
He 's a brutal human vulture ; 
Though he has a lot of spunk, 
He's a skunk. 

He's a savage, he's inhuman, 
Sparing neither man nor woman; 
He's no ordinary vermin. 
He's a big bull-headed German. 
Like the skunk, all men now hate him; 
And we must exterminate him. 
As a gentleman, he's pretty punk. 
He's a skunk. 

He's the world's most noted bluffer, 
He's the biggest kind of duffer. 
Down through earth's remotest ages. 
Vile, he'll show on history's pages. 
All the Hellish things he's brewing 
Soon must lead to his undoing. 
The Hellish depths to which he's sunk 
Prove him a skunk. 

Thinks with God that he is equal, 
But we'll show him, in the sequel, 
That the Yankee boys will get him; 
'Till they do, they'll never quit him — 
And they're sure to soon remove him; 
It's a cinch they don't approve him, 
On his trail they'll never flunk, 
'Cause he's a skunk. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



WE'RE GOING TO GET THE KAISER. 

We're starting out to get him, Ave '11 stop this blow and bluff, 
Though the task that lies before us we know is mighty tough ; 
We're sure that we can do it, though the road be long and rough, 
We're going to camp upon his trail until he yells 'ENOUGH!" 
For we're going to get the Kaiser. 

We're going to get the Kaiser, we're going to Berlin, 
We're going to baste him plenty, and we're going to get his skiu; 
We have the men, we'll have the arms, we also have the "tin," 
We'll show him he can't lick the world with Uncle Sam throM^n in. 
For we're going to get the Kaiser. 

We're going to get the Kaiser if we have to kill him dead, 
AVe 're going to stop the many -wheels revolving in his head ; 
We'll bust him up in business, we may shoot him full of lead, 
AVe'll put him in the discard and Democracy ahead; 
For Ave 're going to get the Kaiser. 

We're joining with the Poilus upon the fields of France, 
We're joining Tommy Atkins to help make the Kaiser dance, 
AVith the Anzacs and Italians Ave will put him in a trance, 
AVhen all our Yankees get in line he'll have no earthly chance. 
For Ave 're going to get the Kaiser. 

We've got a million on the job, Ave '11 get ten million more, 
AVe'll have millions left when they're in arms to even up the score; 
We'll teach the Kaiser many things he never knew before, 
AVe'll fill Germany Avith A^ankees, for Ave '11 have them soon — galore; 
And they're going to get the Kaiser. 

All Europe's filled Avith miserA*, her countries are forlorn. 
The job is up to Uncle Sam to make a Avorld re-born. 
His coat is off, his sleeves rolled up, a mighty oath he's sAvorn, 
To put the Kaiser off' the job until the Judgment Alorn. 
And we're going to get the Kaiser. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEIM BOOK 23 



OH! OLD UNCLE SAM HAS COME OUT OF THE WEST. 

Oh ! Old Uncle Sam has come out of the West, 

He 's rolled up his sleeves and he 's shed coat and vest ; 

So peaceful in peace, and so warlike in war 

He is after the Kaiser with Yankees galore. 

He's come fully armed, and he's come not alone; 

He 's crossed the Atlantic through submarine zone ; 

So peaceful in peace and so warlike in war, 

He's after the Kaiser — He's mad to the core. 

For months he put up with his insults and bluff; 
NoAv he's told Kaiser Vilhelm to "Cut out that stuff." 
When the great Lusitania was sailing serene, 
With no thought of fear of the dread submarine; 
From out of the depths of the ocean, so wide, 
They shot a torpedo so true at her side, 
That it struck, and it tore through her thick armor plate. 
With no offer of help she was left to her fate. 

They've insulted his stars, they've insulted his stripes; 
And Uncle Sam swears something worse than : "By cripes ! 
He is shipping his Yankees, by night and by day. 
On, over the waters, away, and away. 
Their gas bombs won't feaze him, he'll never say: "Stop!' 
From their trenches he'll drive them on "over the top." 
He's sharpened his bayonets, he's sighted his guns, 
And he'll soon be a-shooting some holes in those Huns. 

The American Eagle, in rage, loudly screams, 

He has wakened the Peace Parties out of their dreams ; 

'Till, a Nation United, we stand as a whole, 

And Old Samuel's in it, both body and soul. 

With his Stars and his Stripes, to the breezes unfurled, 

This Emblem of Freedom now shouts to the world : 

"Our Old Uncle Samuel is in it to stay, 

'Till the Kaiser's vamoused and Freedom holds sway!" 



24 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



HE'S DER PIGGEST DHING OUDT UND HE'S NOW 

GETTING INN. 

I am Vilhelm de Two, 1 voiild haff you to know, 

Who make ub a scheeme, a few short years ago, 

To conquer der eart, und to rule all der vorld; 

Und effery vhare make me mine flag pe unfurled. 

I vill fighdt effery nation drougli thick und drough thin, 

Though they all shouldt get inn, though they all should get inn. 

I dake Gott as partner to vork oudt der scheeme, 

Und make me, me, Vilhelm, haff bower subreme. 

I'll vhip liddle Servia, und Russia und France; 

Und vallob veak Pelgium, und make England dance. 

If I neffer didt stardt I vould neffer pegi'nn, 

So I make der greadt A'or dot dey're all getting inn. 

Dough for years, I brebare for der blootshett und strife, 

Und schvare I schall make it pe vor to der knife, 

Und der nations vot fighdt me, der greadt und der schmall ; 

I care me nod who comes, I'll fighdt mid dem all. 

I schall care nod how many schall try for mine schkin, 

I'll vhip effery von dot schall pe getting inn. 

I vill knock oudt dem all, und I preak effery bone. 

If Gott vill nod hellub me I vill do id alone, 

I chase der shibs round t und I plo nie mine horns 

'Til I finally schtep on Olt Uncle Sam's coi-ns. 

I'll maype regret me I kicked on his shin; 

He's der piggest dhing oudt und he's now getting inn. 

I dink me, von time, he vos nod very much. 

But id sometimes now looks like he mighdt "Beat Der Dutch." 

For dey dells me he's calling oudt all kind of troops. 

Und der flocking aroundt him py hundredts of groups ; 

Und in vor brebarations he's spending his tin; 

Und he may get mine schalp ven he really gets inn. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 25 



TO HELL WITH HIS OLD IRON CROSS. 

When the war drums were sounding afar 'cross the sea 

And the Boches were fighting the Franks, 

Not even in dreams was it borne unto me 

That I'd ever be called to those ranks. 

But when England got in it to check the wild game 

And tried to give aid and relief 

To France, whom the Huns, to their own lasting shame, 

Were acting in ways past belief. 

The Huns of the past, in Attila's wild train, 

Would blush at the deeds that Avere done ; 

At the murder and pillage, and blood spilled like rain. 

By those dastards, far worse than the Hun. 

With Belgium laid waste and its women outraged; 

And its happy homes razed to the ground; 

Where peaceful pursuits once its people engaged. 

The land now in ruins abound. 

Her hills and her valleys are torn with the strife, 

Where her sons fought her honor to save ; 

While thousands on thousands there gave up their life, 

At the hands of the Teutonic knave. 

Inhuman and pitiless, murderous and foul; 

There is nothing too vile or too low 

For this vandal to do — he is worse than a ghoul ; 

A depraved and unprincipled foe. 

The tortures inflicted on those he's enslaved. 

Show hellish and inhuman work ; 

With his fiendish devises, most foul and depraved, 

He out-turks the "Unspeakable Turk." 

With his submarine tactics upon the high sea. 

Sending scores to a grave in the deep. 

He so far overreached that Humanity's plea 

Has aroused Uncle Sam from his sleep. 

Now he's got in the fraj^ and I've come over here 
And I've lined with the boys on his side; 
Though at times I have feelings decidedly queer, 
I am after the Kaiser's old hide. 
We are going to get him before we are done. 
We're going to show him who's boss; 

To H 1 with the Kaiser, this King of the Hun, 

To H 1 Avith his OLD IRON CROSS. 



2b THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



OLD GLORY THE PRIDE OF OUR NATION SO WIDE. 

OLD GLORY ! The pride of our natiou so Avide ! 

OLD GLORY! The banner we love! 

The flag that we follow, with feelings of pride, 

As so proudly it waves up above. 

The emblem of freedom it always will be 

With its stars and its bars to the breezes unfurled; 

Though the sons of our land liave gone over the sea, 

Our flag has gone with them to help free the world. 

Still proudly it waves, as in days that are gone, 
AVhile borne by our boys who now march in its wake, 
As, rank after rank, they keep following on 
To help free the world, for Humanity's sake. 
We love every star, and w^e love every bar 
Of our glorious flag that is borne in the van; 
Though caressed by the breezes in countries afar, 
We love thee ! Thou Emblem of Freedom to man ! 

We love thee ! Old Glory ! and every story 

That's told of our fathers Who fought to be free; 

How they strove, 'neath thy folds, on fields red and gory, 

For home and for country, for loved liberty. 

We all feel a pride that we have you before us; 

No flag ever waved that with thee can compare. 

We know we'll be free while this banner waves o'er us; 

God bless you ! Our flag ! Oh, Thou Queen of the Air ! 

On the wide battle fronts of the world-hated German, 
Our boys are aligned side by side with the Gaul, 
With the help of Italia and Britain, this vermin 
We'll crush, while Old Glory waves over us all. 
The scenes we're among are so brutal and shocking, 
We must crush the Kaiser, we must make him go; 
At the doors of the World, Freedom loudly is knocking ; 
Old Glory, protect us while routing this foe. 



THE ANTI-KAISER PODM BOOK 27 



WE KNOW HOW TO SHOOT WITH A GUN. 

The Kaiser's a jackass, and Hindenburg too, 

They think with the Yanks they'll have fun; 

But before we are through with this bloodthirsty crew, 
They'll find we can handle a gun. 

With his long years of training in war's hellish ways. 

With aspiring to be like the Hun ; 
With his self-estimation, his fulsome self praise, 

He thinks we can't handle a gun. 

But Uncle Sam's taught us some things they don't know. 
Some things we will spring on these brutes ; 

We'll teach him it's time for the Boches to go 
When our Uncle Samuel shoots. 

We've practiced by day and we've practiced by night. 

And we fight for a cause that is just; 
We know we are fighting the cause of the right. 

And we'll get Kaiser Bill or we'll bust. 

We've come here to fight for Humanity's sake. 

We 've come from a country remote ; 
We'll make Kaiser William "Go jump in the lake;" 

For we're certainly after his goat. 

So we'll show him, in shooting, we'll put every shot 

Right into the nests of the Hun; 
For those Boches we'll make it so awfully hot. 

They'll admit we can handle a gun. 

These jackasses think Vilhelm's equal to God, 

Who, in majesty, rules in the skies ; 
But we don't care a whoop, ven der Vilhelm's abroad, 

We shall certainlv make him SURBRISE. 



2 8 THE ANTI-KAISER PODM BOOK 



OUR GRAND OLD UNCLE SAM. 

lie's the grandest kind of gentleman the world will e'er disclose; 

He radiates goodwill to man, and kindness ever shows 

To 'the opp)"essed of every land, and oft allays their woes. 

The helping hand of man to man he always will extend. 

When great misfortune stalks abroad most willing aid he'll lend; 

And every nation on the earth he'd love to call his friend. 

But Freedom is his specialty, he'll fight for Freedom's cause. 

He always tries his level best to uphold Freedom's laws; 

And when his rights have been assailed, 'tis there the line he draws. 

Then don't you dare to think he'll scare; 

He never tries to sham, 

His justice reaches everywhere ; 

Our Grand Old Uncle Sam. 

Yes, Sam's the greatest personage the world has ever grown; 

He has grown into a giant in the great North Temperate Zone, 

'Til everyw^here, throughout the w^orld, our Uncle Sam is known. 

He's the greatest individual who knoAvs that right is right; 

Though mild in disposition, when you stir him up he'll fight; 

And when he starts to do a thing, he works Avith all his might. 

He w^as conceived in freedom in the grand old days of yore ; 

And ever since his slogan's been for Freedom evermore. 

When Freedom called, our Samuel was always to the fore. 

He will not flinch or budge an inch, 

About him there's no sham, 

He's square and fair with all the world; 

Our Good Old Uncle Sam. 

The world's all topsy-turvy in the lands across the seas. 

Our Uncle Sanuiel's a host in troubled times like these. 

He's going to make the Kaiser beg for mercy, on his knees. 

The Kaiser acts the maniac in trampling freedom down; 

He seeks to make a world empire for naught but his renown. 

When Uncle Sam gets though with him the Kaiser '11 have no crown. 

Oh, "Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!" Oh! Shout it far and near. 

Let all the world the shout prolong and make the tyrant fear; 

For Wilhelm does not love at all what Uncle Sam holds dear. 

And, though ifhe Kaiser's mighty tough, our Uncle Sam will "call 

his bluff." 
For Uncle Sam is not a sham ; 
He'll baste him 'till he yells: "Enough!" 
Our Mighty Uncle Sam. . 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 29 



WE CAN STAND FOR THE CONSERVING 
IF OUR SOLDIER BOYS ARE FED. 

We can stand for days that's meatless, 
We can stand for days that's wheatless, 
If our soldier boys are fed ; 
We can stand for days that's treatless, 
We can stand for rooms that's heatless, 
So our soldier boys have bread. 

We can stand for stockings feetless, 
And for breeches almost seatless, 
If 'twill make the cause more strong. 
It will help to make completeness 
If our acts are all deceitless, 
It will help the cause along. 

They're a dandy lot of fellers — 
I can fancy that their smellers 
Sniff, and sniff, and sniff the air 
For the pork and beans and cookies 
That are bound to make the rookies 
Want to drag the Kaiser from his lair. 

So conserve, and keep conserving, 
For our boys are well deserving 
Of the best at our command. 
They have gone to fight our battle 
And they'll drive those German cattle 
From the land. 



3 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



THE ARMY AND NAVY'S OWN Y. M. C. A. 

Of all the good things, for our boj^s who are gone, 

To train in the camps for the fray; 
The best thing that our Uncle Samuel has done, 

Was to install the Y. M. C. A. 

When their labors are done, and they're free for a spell, 

At the close of a long, weary day, 
P^or a brief little time the^^ can peacefully dwell 

In the rooms of tlie y". M. C. A. 

When the dawn's early light breaks afar o'er the land, 

Announcing the coming of day. 
The hour for rising, on every hand. 

Is blared forth in the loud reveille. 

Then they get up and drill 'til they're tired clear through, 

And they sigh for the home far away ; 
The best substitute that is offered to you. 

Is the cheer of the Y. M. C. A. 

The army and navy boys think it sublime. 

When they've things to the home folks to say; 

They can find the means readly, every time. 
In that haven, the Y. M. C. A. 

Those loved ones at home, as they think of the boy, 

Whom the Germans are trying to slay ; 
Get a measure of comfort, a feeling of jov. 

For that God-send, the Y. M. C. A. 

Then loud sing the praise of America's land; 

And whether at work or at play, 
In every camp it is theirs to command, 

Our Army's and Navy's own Y. M. C. A. 

With its books and its papers, at hand to peruse. 
There are none who will say to you "Nay!" 

It's our boys's A^ery own, it is there for their use ; 
That great institution, the Y. M. C. A. 

Then cheerfully give to the cause, of your store ; 

Do your bit for our boys far away ; 
By aiding this cause a'ou will help win the war ; 

Then boost for the Y. M. C. A. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 31 

MUST ME UNDT GOTT CRAWFISH VAY BACK TO VARE VE 

DIT PEGINN? 

1 schall dell you how id came apoud I get me dis vor inn, 

Und for der vhy dot etTery von schust dry to get mine sehkin. 

Of all der beobles in der vorld, in looging roundt apoudt, 

Der God Almighty for a bartner picks me oudt ; 

Und so to dake dis bartner inn, I schall nie nod objeck; 

I pulls mit Gott und Gott mit me, ve go id neck und neck. 

All Eurob haf id for me inn, und chealous much dey get, 

Pecause Gott's bartnership, mit me, schtieks fast alretty yet. 

Pefore dis bartnership 1 form, mein fodder holds der rein ; 

Mit France he haf ein liddle schrapp, und grapps Alsace-Lorrainne ; 

Und ven he dies, inn bower I come, I see der Cherman landt ; 

I dink I gett great praise, py me, if dot greadt landt expandt. 

Und so I sett meinself to scheme, — Ach ! vy I shouldt id tell ? 

Der vorld now knows, vere e'er I goes, I down side up turns Hell. 

Berhabs id's petter dot I dell schust how" id came apoudt 

1 turns all Eurob into Hell, und turns Hell inside oudt ; 

Oldt Pismarck vos mein fodder 's f riendt, he nodt can pe mein man ; 

Mein vay, he gets to standing inn ; I ties to him der can. 

So ven I gets Von Pismarck oudt, undt Me undt Gott gets imi, 
Der VORLDT EMPIRE ve schdart to make — ends it vare ve peginn? 
Ve puild greadt gun works, vot iss goot ; dem guns vos made by Krupp 
So me und Gott, und Gott und me. der whole vorld can schoot up. 
Der Cherman men ve train to fight, ve schwell all up, der headt ; 
Ve make dem dink der Cherman troops can schoot der whole vorldt 
dead. 

I get der Embire fixed for vor, den hundt me von exguse ; 

For vhy? Mein soldiers, trained so fine, I sehoost must turn dem loose. 

So Serliia make a liddle fuss mit Austria, on der side ; 

I sic oldt foolish Austria on to dake off Serbia's hide. 

Oldt Englandt, Russia, France gets inn ; und liddle Pelgium, too ; 

Den ME und Gott togedder bulls to show dem vot ve do. 

Ve dry py France, to gett inn quick, pefore dey make der fuss; 
Vere almost plocked, righdt in der schdart, py dot schraall Pelgium 

cus,s. 
Yaw ! Liddle Pelgium half der gall to gif to me some sass, 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



Und schvear ein awful Deutcher's oath, dey nod schall let me pass. 
Ach ! Gott und Hindenburg ! Ve schoot, pecause dey make me to ; 
Der cannon's roar goes on pefore, ve plow der Pelgium drough. 

Ve kill der men, und vimmen too, und make id lots der fun; 

Ve purn greadt lots, der houses inn, und schoot some py der gun. 

Pudt such like dings, dey nodt can last, ve Pelgium pust righdt drough 

P^r France, nod anyding ve cares, ve, Gott und Vilhelm too. 

So, on for Paris, double quick, to march mein troops pegin; 

I pragg, und say "Id is derblace I '11 eadt mein Grismas dinner inn. 

So Me und Gott, mit von greadt splurge, try hardt oldt France 'to 

smash, 
But ven id looks schust like ve vin, der Frenchmans spoils der hash. 
For two years long dey fighdt me pack und put me on der run; 
Dey almost, nearly, mine goose cook, vay down py old Verdun. 
For fixiiig Pelgium like ve dit, und showing dem who's poss, 
Mein soldiers' coats I fasten on der Cherman IRON CROSS. 

I leaves, awhile, der vestern front to sizzle like der pot, 

Und den Roumania pustles inn — for her I make id hot. 

Oldt Austria vould like to quit, I make her stay righdt inn ; 

Py make great drive, on Italy, old Austrian dink ve win. 

Ve get dem Italy on der run, ve get dem going veil ; 

Dey won't stay put, dey come righdt pack und fighdt us both like Hell. 

But me und Gott iss pound to fight mit guns und air machines, 

Ve schoot der schtinking gas pomps round, und fight mit supmarines. 

Ve schoot der faces, also in, some fire to purn der skins ; 

Und parb vire 'tanglements, ve make, to skratsch up all der shins. 

Und udder padt, vor fight, machines ve make to preak der heardt; 

Ve make dem 'cause der Chermans is so Gott Almighty schmardt. 

Oldt Uncle Sam, he dink hiss blace is in der fight to mix ; 
He has no pisness, butting inn, mit hiss tamm Yankee tricks. 
He nod can fighdt, he's got no troops to pring agroiss der sea; 
He schoots der mout' apoud such dings as "Vorld Democracy." 
He struts aroundt und plows apoud der "Autocratic Rule" 
Of Kaiser Vilhelm, und his bunch — der starred und striped fool. 

Der Yankee babers prindt a lot apoudt hiss millions men ; 

Der Chermans know, mit hiss fcAv shibs, he nod can get dem inn. 

Pefore hiss droops get to der front, ven he is schust pegun ; 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 33 



If ME und Gott togeddet schticks, ve'll haf der whole vor done. 
Dey say he now haff, on der front, five hundred tousand men ; 
I pet me he no more hass got as dot divide by ten. 

80 all der troops, he schows up here, can make me nod afraid; 

A liddle punch like dot, py Goitt ! ve'll soon lay in der schade ! 

Ach, Gott ! Id iss ein easy chob dem Russians to get oudt ; 

Und mit der Bolsheviki's helb, Roumania ve vill roudt. 

I strafe oldt England, plenty good, und France I strafe too ; 

Ve'll standt old Samuel on hiss hedt, und pust old Italy drough. 

Und so, mit KAISER BILL und Gott, ve haff ein mighty pull, 
Und iff' oldt Sam's eyes over ve can pull der wool, 
Ve'd get der rest, schust like ve blanned, ven in der vor ve schdart; 
Ach, yes! Mit ME und Gott, hooked in von team, ve'd take der vorld 

abart. 
Der only question dot I ask, since Uncle Sam got inn: 
"Must Me und Gott crawfish, vay pack, to vare ve di't peginn?" 



34 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



IS A LETTER ON THE WAY FROM MY BOY ACROSS THE SEA? 

There's a vacant chair at home where my boy was wont to be, 
There's a something that seems missing, there's a face I do not see; 
In the service of his country he is on a foreign shore, 
And I sadly sit and wonder: "Shall 1 ever see him more?" 
Ah ! The feeling comes upon me, since my boy has gone away, 
A deep and anguished feeling that my boy has gone to stay; 
And I ask myself the question: "Where's my boy, so dear to me, 
Is a let)ter on the way from my boy across the sea?" 

As I look his playthings over, that he played with as a child. 

There comes to me a feeling that I can't be reconciled 

To his being in the trenches, that he's there the foe to rout; 

To his being in the battle where his life may be snuffed out. 

And the place where he's located is not known to me, perchance, 

Every message that he sends me has a date: "Somewhere in France." 

And I'm wondering, wondering ever : "Where's my boy, so dear to me 

Is a letter coming to me from my boy across the sea?" 

Every mother in this country, every mother left to weep ; 
Every home where sons are missing — gone to fight beyond the Deep ; 
Praying ever for protection for the boy who may not come, 
Longing for ithe glad returning, for the happy welcome home; 
Ever}' skirmish with the foeman, every battle with the Hun 
Adds a little to the worry of the mother for the son 
Who is over yonder fighting in the cause of liberty ; 
Will she ever get a letter from her boy across the sea? 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 35 



GET BEHIND THE MAN BEHIND THE GUN. 

In the trenches, facing Germany, our boys are in the fight, 
For freedom of humanity they'll fight with all their might; 
The fire eating Kaiser they are going to put to rout, 
We're going to say: "The surest way to bring it all about, 
To smash this foe and let know we're going to have it done, 
Make up your mind to get behind the boys behind the gun." 

Some years ago, the Germans used to advertise their trade 

By printing on each article : " In Germany 'twas made. ' ' 

We know the rankest kind of Hell the world will ever see 

Has been concocted, schemed and planned and "Made in Germany," 

We've got to stop this Hellish work, we've got to lick the Hun; 

We know that we can do it if we stand behind the man behind the gun. 

Our boys upon the battle front, engaging in the strife. 

Within a foreign country each day are risking life ; 

Those left behind, the ones at home, must also do 'their bit ; 

All luxuries must be cut out, our boys to benefit. 

The world, we'll help illuminate with Liberty's bright sun, 

To do it we must boost behind the man behind the gun. 

To help our fighting men, afar, there 's much that we can do ; 

WE must conserve on food and clothes — this "WE" means ME 

and YOU. 
We must conserve in money, we must conserve in wheat ; 
In clothing, shoes and everything our boys can wear or eat. 
With England, France and Italy we'll put them on the run; 
United, we musit firmly stand behind the man behind the gun. 

War Savings Stamps we all must buy to help the cause along; 

The more we try, the more we buy, will make our cause more strong ; 

The Bonds for Liberty we'll buy to raise the wherewithal! 

To put to rout this Kaiser Bill and consummate his fall. 

They'll not turn back along their track until the war is won; 

On every hand we all must stand behind the man behind the gun. 

War Bread must try to satisfy our folks that's left behind; 

To many inconveniences we must become resigned. 

For many things we used to have we'll find some substitute 

And send our boys the best we've got to give them strength to shoot. 

Though hardships, in the trenches, they may pretend is fun, 

We'll do our most to be a host to our men behind the gun. 



36 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



The Red Cross cause, through thick and thin, we all must help to 

boost ; 
We'll help the grand Y. M. C. A. Columbia's introduced. 
The biggest kind of energy we'll show by day and night; 
For we're going to get the Kaiser, and we're going to get him right. 
Our Sammy boys, old Kaiser Bill, will scrap 'till he's outdone; 
The whole United States combined will stand behind our men behind 

the gun. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POElM BOOK 37 



THERE'S NOTHING TOO GOOD FOR OUR BOYS AT THE FRONT. 

Have you heard from the front, from the battle afar, 

Where 'the gates of Inferno are standing ajarV 

Where thousands of sons of The Land of the Free 

Are rivsking their lives far away 'cross the sea? 

Not for riches they fight in that battle-scarred zone ; 

For the freedom of man, aye, for freedom alone. 

'Tis not riches they seek, it is Freedom they hunt. 

And there's nothing too good for our boys aJt the front. 

With the cannon before them, a grim visaged wall, 

They've gone to the front at America's call. 

In the balance, they've found, weighed against Freedom's cause, 

The will of a tyrant trampling over all laws. 

The noblest of men the world ever has known, 

On America's soil, breathing freedom, they've grown; 

They'll stand firm as the rock, they'll withstand the war's brunt; 

And there's nothing too good for our boys at the front. 

The beacon of Freedom they'll turn on the Hun, 
They'll make it shine brightly 'till Liberty's won. 
Say, what can we do for these boys, who risk all, 
Who have gone for loved Freedom, to stand or to fall? 
Stand squarely behind them, provide them with food; 
The best we can send them will be none too good; 
For civilization they're making this fight, 
God grant they may soon put this tyrant to flight. 

America's in it, she will not turn back, 

'Til she's routed the Kaiser and all his foul pack. 

Then, stand by our boys, for the war we must win; 

Stand firmly behind them through thick and through thin. 

A nation united, let each do his bit 

And we'll speedily cause Kaiser AVilhelm to quit. 

If, from home, our brave boys get the proper support 

The career of the Kaiser will soon be cut shor^t 



38 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



MADE IN GERMANY. 

The Kaiser's amuek, like Attilla of old, 

And the German cohorts over Europe he's rolled; 

While his mailed iron fist spreads destruction abroad 

His atrophied brain thinks himself as a god. 

The once happy land he has torn -^vitli the strife, 

And he gloats in the bloodshed and taking of life. 

The wheels of industry are idle and still 

And everything bows to the Kaiser's stern will. 

No more are they sending their wares o'er the sea 

With the label attached: "Made in Germany. " 

The forests and orchards on all sides are waste 

And prosperous towns he's completely effaced. 

From the trenches, he's made, he brews all sorts of crimes ; 

He 's destroyed famed cathedrals and silenced their chimes. 

Though his soldiers lose limbs, they'll smile at the loss 

If he merely presents them a cheap iron cross. 

He's slaughtered and ruined on every side 

And the greater the slaughter, the greater his pride. 

The most hellish conditions the world ever will see 

He's concocted and made in the great Germany. 

As Belshazzar, of old, defied Cyrus' hosts, 
So 'twill be with the Kaiser, though loudly he boasts, 
As it was with Belshazzar, preceding his fall ; 
For this Kaiser, the writing is now on the wall. 
' ' Mene, mene, ' ' 0, Kaiser ! 0, Kaiser get wise ! 
Uncle Sam is the Daniel who'll open your eyes. 
Thou scourge of the world, thou disgrace to the earth 
Thou wilt soon be expelled from the land of thy birth, 
"Tekel, Tekel, upharsin," 'Tis your end that we see; 
Thou accursed of men, "^lade in Germany." 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 39 



VEN I SCHDART ME TO CLEAN UP DER OCEAN. 

I get me all Eurob to fighting, I bet; 

Yaw, effery von's inn id fighdting alretty yet. 

Ven ME, und der Great Gott Almighty, both pull, 

Ve'll pe raising der Deffil mit old Chonny Bull. 

Ve gett der ding goin, id's coming our vay, 

Und vare cerdingly making der Deffil to pay. 

I dink ve '11 clean up der whole schmear on der landt ; 

Py golly! I look on der whole ding, id's grand! 

Den I gets me, mine hedt inn, anonder pig notion ; 

I schall peginn, alretty, to clean up der ocean. 

Der Unided Schtates sells some dings to mine foes; 
Py Gott, I schall shagke mine fist under hiss nose. 
I gets me, soon puilded, some liddle machines; 
Der tamm Yankees call dem: "Der Dutch supmarines," 
I sendt dem righdt oudt, all offer der sea; 
Und I tickle mine ripps, und I dance me mit glee. 
Yaw! Yaw! Id vos vorth all der money in town 
To see how dey sendt dem merchant shibs down. 
Und I gif all mine supmarine sailors promotion 
Ven I schdart me to clean upp der ocean. 

I sink Lusitania, und odder big poats; 

Ach, Himmel! I'll sink effery von what dey floats! 

Dey've no pisness to send dem shibs oudt on der sea; 

Ven I toldt dem "Dond did id," Vy dond dey mind me? 

Ach ! Dunder und blixen ! dey schtill gif me lip, 

Und for dot ve come at dem und singk some more shibs ! 

Ve blow der sides in, of der shibs, ein big hole, 

As dey singk, ve will nod try to safe a tamm soul. 

Mine supmarines magk dem ein mighty commotion 

Ven I schdart me to clean up der ocean. 

Id vos a great fun to see dem go down, 

Und ve laugh, as der vimmens und schildren, dey drown. 

Der greadt shibs go down ven dey can no more floats ; 

Id vos greadt schpordt to see dem take to der schmall poats. 

Columpia vont schtood it, she say: "I schall quit," 

Und I say : "Iff T dondt vot you do apoudt id?" 

He say : " I must schtop or he surely vill schmash 

Every tamm supmarine, und settle mine hash." 

He says: "Ven he's reatty, he'll soon schange mine notion 

Apoudt peing able to clean up der ocean." 



40 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



A PRAYER OF DER KAISER. 

Mein Gott, ven first 1 stardt der vor to make der Cherman nation 

schtrong, 
You knows I dit giv You a schance to helub mein Kaiser's cause along. 
You knows dat me und You got sehdarted oudt to do der ding ub 

righdt ; 
Butt ven ve gott along ad first so fine vy You nodt couldt gondinue 

for to fighdt ? 
Der vay dings schoost now iss coming on id looks schoost like You 

like to quit. 
Iss You a quitter Gott? Und vill You quidt so soon alretty yet? 

Iff You dond care for dese conditions vot mine headt creates 

0, Gott Almighty, dont You dare hellub der Unided Schtates. 

Mein Gott, ven me und You vas gedding on so veil, 

0, do nod quit me now, butt left us both helub knock der Yankees 

into Hell. 
Choost standt py me in vot ve do to hellub pull mine Cherman Kultur 

through. 
0, Gott, chose back me upp in dis und part mine glory I vill schare 

mit You. 

To show to You, Gott. der vay, und how ve must go on vhere ve 

peginn • 
Ve's inn dis vor to slaughter und to slay, und maypee vin. 
Ve gird our loins mit armor off der Lord — I guess dot's id; 
Undt ven ve schdart, Gott, ve dondt know ven to quit. 
Ve offerrun schmall Serbia, dot vos fine ; 
Ve thank ourselfs a liddle, cause ve licks all down der line. 

Ven me und You, Gott, go hand in hand, 

Ve, mit der Bolsheviki, fixed py me und You, grabb onto Russia's land. 

Itt seems to me, mein Gott, der vestern front now seems to quake ; 
No matter vot dakes blace, dond dare giff me der shake. 
I've got to lick der whole tam punch, der bigg vons und der schmall; 
Und iff You standt py me I know ve'll lick dem all. 

You spose, mein Gott, for all der dings ve do, 

Greadt credit vill ve gett, both me und You ? 

Somedimes der dings dey say, alretty yet, 

Makes me so awful madt mit in mine hedt ; 

Dey say id vos nodt you, Gott, vot's helbing me so veil, 

But dot our vork vould schame der Deffil down py Hell. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 41 

Ach Gott dere's so much vot ve haff to done 

Pefore ve gett all nations velded into von. 

Undt dot von schtandts for all der rest insteadt 

Mitt You, Gott, left oudt undt Kaiser Vilhelm att der headt. 

Und ven I getts all nations in mein clutch 

I'll sett der whole tamm vorldt to talking Dutch. 

Und now, Gott Almighty, since ve done so fine, 

Undt schoost apoudt haf gott dem into line, 

Dondt hellub olt Englandt, nodt ein liddle mite, 

But helb me knock oldt France und Italy oudt oft' sighdt. 

Und iff dey dink you iss der Deffil schtill 

I'll care me nodt, so I rule offer all, :ME, KAISER BILL. 



42 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



THE WAR SAVINGS STAMP. 

They've gone to the banks and drawn out their cash, 
They've rose as one man the Kaiser to smash; 
From the old rusty can, they've long hid in the well, 
They've extracted their savings, this monster to quell. 
From 'the stocking, protecting the woman's neat limb, 
They've dug up their wealth Kaiser Bill to help trim. 
From all over the land, in the mansion and camp. 
They come to invest in the War Savings Stamp. 

The pennies and nickels and dimes of the "kid," 
In their small savings banks that for long have been hid ; 
From the eggs and the butter, the money she's saved 
To purchase a something her fancy long craved, 
The wife of ithe farmer, throughout this great land 
In this big war-time saving is taking a hand; 
They're all in the swim, and they're in it to stay, 
Buying War Savings Stamps both by night and by day. 

The widow is giving her long treasured mite 

To help win the war for the cause of the right; 

Our clerks and our workmen throughout this greast land 

Are coming, by millions, a united band ; 

The millionaire's digging do^^'^l into his jeans 

As well as the man of more moderate means. 

Each is doing a part in arranging a cramp 

For this brute, Kaiser Bill, by the War Savings Stamp. 

The AVar Savings Stamp and the Liberty Bond 

Help provide for our boys who are over the pond. 

Every one in our land, in all stations and grades, 

Is helping to land Kaiser Wilhelm in Hades. 

Our boys at 'the front, will soon call his bluff ; 

There'll be no letting up 'till Old Bill yells: "Enough !" 

Americans come, and help "Cook his goose" 

With the Almighty power of the AVar Stamp turned loose. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 43 

WE'LL ALL TAKE A WHACK AT SMASHING THE KAISER. 

'Tis the cruellest war on all History's page; 

It's spread over Europe with Berserker rage. 

The Kaiser's to blame for the whole w^orld's distress; 

He's the biggest big itoad in the whole Devilish mess. 

He's awfully dense, he's an awful big fool 

If he thinks we will stand for this vile German iiile; 

We'll give him a jolt that will make much wiser; 

For we '11 all take a whack at smashing the Kaiser. 

He harps on the Kaltur, his Hun land aifords, 

'Neath the barbarous rule of his German war lords. 

The world he would conquer, with sword and with gun. 

And bring neath the sway of the bloodthirtsy Hun; 

He's filled all the nations, outside, wath alarm, 

And he's trampled their rights 'til he's forced them to arm; 

Uncle Sam has got in it. to straighten him out and he'll make him 

much wiser ; 
And every free man, in America's land, will soon take a whack at 

smashing the Kaiser. 

This vile Hohenzollern, we're bound to knock out, 

With his beer and his pretzels, and Dutch sauer kraut; 

With his gas bombs and stenches, perfuming the breeze. 

Far worse than the smell of his limburger cheese. 

His head got so swelled, it, perchance, might have burst. 

If his brain were not stuffed like a Dutch Weiner Wursft. 

Our glorious Union will settle his hash; 

For we'll all take a whack this vile Kaiser to smash. 

Our American boys, whom the Boches despise, 
Will pull off some stunts that will open their eyes. 
With the Stars and the Stripes, leading ''over the top" 
They -will run the vile Hun 'til he begs them to stop; 
They'll make Kaiser Willhelm quit blowing his horn 



4 4 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 

When he sees the American boys coming on. 

In all the wide world he'll find no sympathizer 

For our Nation's heliind them in smashin<>: the Kaiser. 

Alexander, the fireek, in the world's ancient days 

Was mild, when compared with Kaiser Bill's ways; 

He's outraged the women and drove them from home; 

He outrivals four Nero, the tyrant of Rome; 

Atilla. the Hun, coidd do nothing worse 

Than tliis inhuman monster, tliis modern world's curse. 

The nation's are after this world paralyzer; 

Thei'e'U be no peace on ear'th 'til we all take a whack at smashing 

the Kaiser. 

landt. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 45 



I'M PROUD TO WEAR THE UNIFORM OF UNCLE SAM. 

The Union Jack of Britain and the Stars and Stripes, so grand, 

Are waving side by side, across the sea 
Where the French Tri-eolor proudly floats, o'er all that sunny land, 

The land the Yankee boys have come to free. 
1 'm fighting for Democracy against a vile Autocracy ; 

The clothes I wear Avill tell you who T am ; 
The Yankee boys are in it and Ave 're surely going to win it; 

I'm proud to wear the uniform of Uncle Sam. 

The hosts of Hohenzollern, of the cruel, fighting Hun, 

Are trampling o 'er the fields of sunny Gaul ; 
We're here, and Ave '11 defeat him, and we'll stop his hellish fun; 

We'll set him singing different than: "Der Chermans Ober All." 
I'm fighting for Democracy, against a vile Autocracy; 

The clothes I wear will tell j'^ou Avho I am ; 
The Yankee boys are in it, and Ave 're surely going to win it; 

I'm proud to Avear the uniform of Uncle Sam. 

Oh ! the Yankee boys, the Yankee boys, the Yankee boys have come ; 

America, Thy hills and vales, so many miles aAvay, 
Are turning out their Yankee boys to march to fife and drum ; 

We're in the fight to Avin it, 'til it's won we're here to stay. 
For AA^e're fighting for Democracy, Ave 're going to oust Autocracy; 

The clothes I wear AAdll tell you who I am ; 
The Yankee boys are in it, and Ave 're surely going to Avin it; 

I'm proud to wear the uniform of Uncle Sam. 

Then blend the flags together, those emblems of the free ; 

The French Tri-color, Union Jack, I'talia's flag bring in; 
And AAdth them blend the Stars and Stripes, we've brought across 
the sea. 

And Ave '11 take the combination to Berlin. 
For Ave 're fighting for Democracy. Ave'll oust the Hun Autocracy; 

The clothes T wear Avill tell you who I am ; 
The Yankee boys are in it, and Ave 're surely going to Avin it; 

I'm proud to wear the uniform of Uncle Sam, 



46 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



DER CHERMAN KULTUR. 

Apoiidt some Cheriufiii Knltur, Lss id vot I'm going to wi-ighdt 
So far iss id from gulture as der day iss from der nighdt, 
Ve Chermans long liaf ploed off id, schiist like der vind dot ploes 
T^nd effery pody's gultni'e, else, ad id turns up der nose. 

Ve schdart to knlturize der vorld, mit all der Cherman stuff; 
Ve Chermans dink id vont pe long undil dey yells: "ENOUGH!" 
For seft'eral years ve try to gag dis kultur down der neck ; 
De more ve dry to gag id down, der less ve raagk resbect. 

Der Vorld says dot der kultur. 'boudt vicli der Chermans dell, 
''Iss nodding, 'tis nod gulture. 'tis somdink vorse as Hell." 
Ven I can loogk me all aroundt, und see vot like iss it, 
I feels me nod so pi-oudtly now : I schust vouldt like to ((uidt. 

Pelonging now to Chermany, such kultur iss no use: 
For gulture of der gidtured folks dot kulture's poor eggseuse. 
I loogk on eft'ery handt aroundt und try to dink id's goot; 
I ligke id not. for id sehoost sets der nations "sawing voot. " 

Und so der kulture vot vonce vos, vos nodt some gulture .yet ; 
Der tamm fool Kaiser knows him nodt ven id is time to quidt. 
Der kind off kulture vot he 's got id iss nodt vorth a tamm ; 
He's going dot kulture for to <|uidt \en he boomps our Uncle Sam. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 47 



THE WORLD HAS NO USE FOR THE KAISERLY BRUTE. 

The world litis been shoeked, and the world has been cursed, 
And the "brotherly love" plan of God seems reversed; 
And the Kaiser's pet schemes, that for long he has nursed 
When thrown to the light show they're all of the worst. 
Now our Sammies have joined with the Allies — his foe, 
With the British and French and Italians they'll throw. 
On, over the trenches, they'll rush in pursuit 
Of this monster, this devil, this Kaiserly brute. 

They're going to get him, as sure as you're born; 
They're disgusted Avith hearing him blowing his horn. 
He has ruined all Europe and made it forlorn 
And forever he'll be but an object of scorn, 
For Uncle Sam's Sammies are now on his trail. 
As a nation of freemen they always prevail; 
They'll not quit 'til they get him and render him mute, 
For the world has no use for this Kaiserly brute. 

Though weary of bloodshed and weary of strife, 
Of slaughter and ruin and taking of life; 
They're going to get him — it's war to the knife; 
And end all his murders and tortui'es. now rife. 
They'll make German kultur as mute as a clam 
When he's nabbed by the Sammies of old Uncle Sam. 
When Samuel's efforts begin to bear fruit 
The world will be rid of this Kaiserly brute. 



48 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



I'D LIKE TO DIP THE KAISER IN THE BRIMSTONE PIT. 

['11 tell to yon just what I'd do, if 1 could have my way 

In giving Kaiser William just what he ought to get; 

Oh! What I'd do to Kaiser Bill, I'd do to him each day; 

I'd like to have my way with him around the Brimstone Pit; 

I'd take him by the collar and I'd strip him to the skin; 

I'd jounce him up and down, awhile, and then I'd dip him in. 

1 'd stay with him and play Avith him ; 

I'd souse him in the vat; 

I know he's got it coming, so I'd treat him like a rat. 

I'd strip him and I'd whip him; 

Then all over I'd begin; 

For, the Kaiser's got it coming, and I'd like to dip him in. 

For the crimes that he's committed he never can atone; 

And so I'd like to have my way, just for a little spell; 

I'd like to have my way awhile and hear the Kaiser groan 

As I soused him in the Brimstone Pit, and tell him : "is it Hell ? ' ' 

I'd twist his mustache in a rope, I'd settle William's hash; 

I'd jounce him in the Brimstone Pit and listen to him splash. 

I'd play with him, each day with him; 

I'd Souse him in the vat; 

Because he's got it coming I would surely make him blat. 

1 'd thrash him and 1 'd smash hira ; 

Then, all over, I'd begin; 

For, the Kaiser's got it coming, and I'd like to dip him in. 

If I could heat Hell hotter than it ever was before, 

Oh! Then I'd put him in it, Oh! Then I'd give him sass; 

'Twould do me good, it surely would, to hear tJie Kaiser roar. 

I'd remind him that these sulphur fumes exceled his gas bomb gas, 

I'd tell him this is Kultur of which the Germans tell. 

And, like all German Kultur, it certainl,y is Hell. 

I'd choke him well, I'd soak him Avell ; 

I 'd souse him like a rat ; 

For, I'd like to dip the Kaiser in the Brimstone Vat. 

I'd hoot him and I'd shoot him. 

Then, all over, I'd begin; 

For, the Kaiser's got it coming, and I'd like to dip him in. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 49 



THEY FURNISHED ME THESE IN MY DUFFEL KIT. 

Wheu 1 joined in the service of this, our Great Nation, 

To fight for the cause of the free ; 
I'll tell what I drew, when I reached my first station, 

In the outfit they handed to me: 
I had ionie from my home, when my Nation was calling, 

To do for my country my bit; 
The outfit, they gave me, was truly appalling, 

That made up my first duffel kit. 

They told me to shed all the clothes I'd been wearing 

And shoved a new kit to my gaze ; 
When I looked on the pile I could not help staring, 

I was certainly filled with amaze. 
A sleeping bag first did attract my attention 

As a part of my future outfit; 
And many more things, that I later will mention, 

I found in my first duffel kit. 

Two white suits, two blue suits, rolled up with precision, 

Before me were neatly displayed; 
Then four underwear suits unrolled to my vision, 

A part of the outfit they made. 
Two blankets, a mattress, a box of shinola— 

In fancy, I can see them yet ; 
A war bag, that ever has been a consoler; 

I found in my first duffel kit. 

Two caps and a tooth brush I saw^ there before me; 

A jack knife, a comb and four shoes; 
1 felt Uncle Sam surely did not ignore me. 

In giving me things 1 could use. 
A package of tooth paste, to keep my teeth burnished ; 

And a jersey, I found, that just fit; 
And also a shoe brush, I foimd they had furnished. 

In that store house,, my first duffel kit. 

Four 'kerchiefs, eight socks, I unrolled for inspection ; 

Two gloves and a hair brush, 1 note. 
A scrub brush, to render the dirt's dis-connection, 

And also one warm overcoat. 
A package of needles, among the kit blending, 

I'll mention right now, ere I quit; 
And two spools of thread, to help out my mending, 

I found in my first duffel kit. 



50 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



WE'LL WHIP HIM TO A FRAZZLE AND MARCH INTO BERLIN. 

(Air: "Turkey In the Straw.") 

As 1 was going about my biz, 

Old Uncle Sam says to me ''Gee Whiz! 

There's got to be something done, and done right quick, 

To squelch. Kaiser Bill and make him sick!" 

Squelch Kaiser Bill, squelch Kaiser Bill 

And put him out of business and keep him still ; 

So it's up to me, and all the rest, to help our Uncle Sam 

To lam Kaiser William ; to lam ! lam ! lam ! 

When I heard of this, my dander rose. 

And I says to Uncle Samuel: "Bring ou your khaki clothes; 

Give me a pistol and a bayonet and a gun 

Then bet your bottom dollar I will get that Hun." 

We'll get Kaiser Bill, get Kaiser Bill; 

We'll give it to him plenty, we'll give him his fill; 

Yes, it's up to me, and all the rest, to get our gun and shoot; 

To whip him good and plenty, that Hohenzollern brute. 

'Twill not turn out as he had planned; 

We'll chase this Boclie devil from "No man's land;" 

We are going after William, we won't give him any rest; 

When he stirred up Uncle Samuel, he stirred a hornet's nest. 

Stirred a hornet's nest, stirred a hornet' nest; 

We're going after William that the Devil has possessed; 

For it's up to the Yankee boys, and you can bet your tin. 

We'll whip him to a frazzle and march into Berlin. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEIM BOOK 51 

WE'VE WANDERED TODAY OVER BELGIUM. 

(Tune: ''We've Wandered Today To the Hills, Maggie.") 

We've wandered, today, over Belgium, to watch the scenes of woe; 
The hills and the valleys, of Belgium, you now would scarcely know. 
The once happy homes are gone, Sammies, where the Belgians used 

to dwell ; 
And the outrages, the Huns committed tliere, makes the land seem 

much like Hell. 
The people are gone from the land, Sammies, where once their songs 

they sung; 
And the Kaiser who did it all, Sammies, still walks about unhung. 

But now we are on the way, Sammies, to wreak the vengeance due ; 
And we'll leave no more, this foreign shore, 'til the Kaiser's reign 

is through. 
The cathedrals are razed to the ground, Sammies, where once the 

vespers rung ; 
And the crimes he's committed there, Sammies, can't be told by 

pen or tongue. 
But now we are after his scalp. Sammies, to show him that might 

is not right; 
And we'll show Kaiser Bill, tlie fiend, Sammies, that the Yankee 

boys can fight. 

They've invaded fair France from the north, Sammies, a ruthless, 

cruel foe; 
But the tables are turning at last, Sammies, just watch the Kaiser go. 
His delight in the fight he's made, Sammies, and the peoples that 

he's oppressed 
Has set the whole woi*ld in arms, Sammies, and we'll get him on the 

West. 
No mercy he's shown in the war, Sammies, to the people that he has 

fleeced ; 
So we must Avin the war we make, Sammies, with this Hohenzollern 

beast. 

So we've come from America, Sammies, and we'll fight him tooth 
and nail, 

Until we have laid him low, Sammies, we'll know no such word as 
"FAIL." 

Our Liberty's at stake, Sammies, we must wipe him from the earth; 

For this we have crossed the sea, Sammies, from the land of Free- 
dom's birth. 

So now we are in the war, Sammies, to fight 'til the war is won; 

And we'll never let up in the fight, Sammies, 'till we get Kaiser 
Bill, the Hun. 



52 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



BECAUSE WE ARE AFTER THE KAISER. 

(Tune: "'iMareliing Tlirough Georgia.") 

America i)Ut up witli it, tlie Kaiser's foul abuse, 

He showed that for Coluii)bia he liad but little use; 

He sunk our ships, he drowned their crews, for him we've no excuse: 

And now we are after the Kaiser. 

Hooray! Hooray! we've gone across the sea, 

Hooray ! Hooray ! P'or the land of Libenty ; 

For we'i-e going to drive the Kaiser from the land of Germany; 

And now we are after the Kaiser. 

Old Uncle !Sam is mad, by gad ; he is most awful mad ; 

The Kaiser '11 get the biggest licking he has ever had; 

F'or we'll put him out of business and Ave '11 make the whole world glad 

That we are after the Kaiser. 

Hooray ! Hooray ! we 've gone across the sea. 

Hooray ! Hooray ! we '11 stop his Deviltry ; 

For w^e're going to get old Kaiser Bill on this we all agree 

Because we are after the Kaiser. 

We are after Kaiser William, we will show him we've the spunk 

To obliterate the kingdom of this Hohenzollern skunk. 

We can't make out just what he is, he's neither man nor monk, 

But Ave are after the Kaiser. 

Hooray! Hooray! we'll see Avliat we shall see. 

Hooray! Hooray! Ave '11 make the Boches tlee ; 

We're going to be provided for with l^onds of Liberty 

While we are after the Kaiser. 

Columbia ! Columbia ! She 's leading on once more, 

America will not be licked, she's never been before; 

His Kultur, that he blows about, is rotten to the core 

And that's Avhy Ave 're after the Kaiser. 

Hooray! Hooray! we're going to Berlin, 

Hooray! Hooray! Ave're going to take him in; 

They're buying lots of bonds, at home, to furnish us the "tin" 

That's helping us to round u() the Kaiser. 

Come on ! Come on you Poila boys, and help to do him done ! 
Come on! Come on Tom Atkins, to help paralyze the Hun! 
We want your help in getting him, you, each and every one, 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



While we are after the Kaiser. 

Hooray ! Hooray ! Let 's sound a jubilee, 

Hooray! Hooray! We'll put him up a tree; 

For this is why we're over here, from far across the sea, 

After the bloodthirsty Kaiser. 

The Yankees are in Europe, we're camping on his trail, 
And, in our battle lexicon, there's no such word as "fail;'* 
We're "over there" to get him and his fighting won't avail, 
For we're all going after the Kaiser. 
Hooray! Hooray! We'll make the whole world free. 
Hooray ! Hooray ! We 've come across the sea ; 
We're going to get the Kaiser, this is a certainty, 
Because we are after the Kaiser. 



54 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



YANKEE DOODLE (NEW VERSION). 

More than one hundred years ago we fixed King George's noodle 
So that he'd have a big respect for tlie land of Yankee Doodle. 
Yankee doodle, doodle doo ; this tune is most entrancing, 
And to its "Yankee Doodle Doo" Ave '11 set the Kaiser dancing 
While we all sing Yankee Doodle Doo, Yankee Doodle Dandy, 
Yankee Doodle Doodle Doo, Oh ! Yankee Doodle Dandy. 

We're after Kaiser William hard, and we intend to do him; 

We'll get his goat while the bugle's note wafts Yankee Doodle to him. 

Yankee Doodle, Doodle Doo; Yankee Doodle Dandy, 

We'll stop his feeding, little kids, his poison German eandy. 

Yankee Doodle, Doodle Doo ; Yankee Doodle Dandy, 

We'll fix this brute so he can't shoot at Yankee Doodle Dandy. 

We'll help to chase him out of France, and run him to Berlin in; 
He'll dance to Yankee Doodle Doo while all the Yanks are grinnin'; 
The place where Kaiser Bill belongs is way downi deep in Hell in; 
Before Ave (piit that's Avhat he'll get while all the Yanks are yellin'; 
"'Yankee Doodle Doodle Doo. Yankee Doodle Dandy;" 
Our Uncle Sainiiers Doodle Doo will then come in qui'te handy. 

Our Yankee lii'ains make aeroplanes, the best in all creation; 
And Avhen Ave come he Avill go some, there'll be no hesitation. 
We'll set him right about Avhat fight the Yankee boys can hand him; 
For me and you and Yankee Doodle Doo, are surely going to land him. 
With our "Yankee Doodle Doodle Doo, Yankee Doodle Dandy," 
We're going to run this beastly Hun, AAdth Yankee Doodle Dandy. 

His submarines and war machines luive got the Avorld disgusted; 
We'll not let up, on this Boche pup, until Ave've got him busted. 
Our "Yankee Doodle Doodle Doo," is the song Ave 're going to shout 

him ; 
Our Yankee Doodle Doodle Doo, is l)ound to lick and 2'out him. 
Yankee Doodle Doodle Doo, Yankee Doodle Dandy ; 
The Kaiser '11 go that tune Ave knoAv, called "Yankee Doodle Dandy." 

And when we strike he'll know AA'hat like our Yankee poAvder's 

smellin ', 
AYe'll make this gob throAv up his job Avhen Uncle Sam starts yellin': 
"Yankee Doodle Doo, Yankee Doodle Dandy; Yankee Doodle Doodl* 

Dandy," 
Our Yankee guns Avill smash the Huns, Yankee Doodly Dandy. 
If sand and grit Avill make him quit, Yankee Doodle Dandy; 
It is not him, but us, that's it; Yankee Doodle Dandy. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 55 



AMERICA (NEW VERSION) 

My country; 'tis of thee, 

Land of America, 

Land of my birth; 

Our boys have crossed the sea, 

To fight for Liberty, 

Hopincr that soon may we 

Drive Bill from earth. 

My native country thee ! 

Better than Germany, 

Of thee I sing ; 

Land where the free reside ! 

Whose patience has been tried, 

William, thou homicide ! 

Thy end Ave '11 bring I 

Let war drums, 'cross the seas, 
Sound Kaiser Bill's decease, 
The nations 'mong; 
Let's doff our coats and fight, 
Stop Europe's aAvful plight. 
With Freedom's goal in sight, 
Rout William's throng. 

Our father's Shades, to Thee! 
Who set our country free. 
With deeds most grand ; 
What we now undertake, 
Shows Bill his big mistake. 
And we will shortly make 
Him leave Europe's land. 



56 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



DIXIE LAND (REVISED). 

[ wish Kaiser Bill were cauglit and brought in, 

Den he'd find dat his tricks am not forgotten, 

Look away! Look away! Look away! to de Boche land. 

In de Boche land whar Bill was born in, 

r wish he'd died dat berry same mornin': 

Look away ! Look away ! Look away ! to de Boche land. 

I wish I was in Berlin, Hooray ! Hooray ! 

In de Berlin swing William's withered wing. 

Am de biggest thing in Berlin ; 

Away ! AAvay ! Hooray ! Hooray ! 

Away in de Boche 's land. 

Kaiser Bill, at bis war. w^orks like a beaver. 

Kaiser Billiam's a waj low- down deceiber, 

Look aw-ay ! Look away I Look away ! In de Boche land. 

With old Hindenberg, and the rest, around him, 

'Twas a good long time ere the Yankee found him ; 

Aw^ay! Away! Away! In de Billium's land. 

Oh, when we cotch dat Billiura, Hooray! Hooray! 

In dat Billium's land we'll hab him canned, 

And we'll make him sigh for freedom; 

Hooray ! Hooray ! Away ! Away ! 

Away in de Boche land. 

His head's all swelled, the great big bluffer, 

Like de toughest tough, dere is none tougher. 

Look away! Look away! Look aw^ay! To de Boche land. 

De Kaiser act de l)ig fool part. 

'Cause he tink dem Dutchmans is so smart ; 

Away ! Away ! Away I In de Boche land. 

Oh! We's gwine to cotch dat Billinm, Hooray! Hooray! 

Old Billinm am a great big snob. 

But de Yankee say dat he's a gob; 

Look away! Look away! Hooray! 

Away, in de Boche 's land. 



THE ANTI-KAiSER POEM BOOK 5'< 

Uncle Sam has lots of ships afloat, 

And dey's going' across to get his goat; 

Look away ! Look awav- ! Look away ! To de Boche 's land. 

Oh! He said "dis" and he said "dat," 

And his po' ol' haid nigh bust his hat, 

Away! Away! Away! Jn de Boche land. 

Oh ! We'll 'take his job from Billium ! Hooray ! Hooray I 

When de Yankee boys hah all done come, 

Dey'll put dat Kaiser on de bum; 

Away ! Away ! Away ! Hooray ! Hooray ! 

Away, in de Boche 's hand. 



58 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



COLUMBIA, THE GEM OF THE OCEAN. 
(REVISED) 

0, Kaiser! You fool with false notions, 
Thy subjects don't dare oppose thee; 
Thou ark of the Boche's devotions. 
Uncle Sam makes no homage to thee ; 
Thy mandates make legions assemble. 
When Hindenburg's arms stand in view; 
Thy cannons make earth and air tremble, 
The Avorst that the world ever knew; 
Thy cannons make earth and air tremble, 
The worst that the world ever knew. 

Your atrocities shocked all creation. 

And threatened the world with their storm, 

'Til Columbia's deep destestation. 

Caused the U. S. to turn like the worm ; 

With War's sinews girded about her, 

Indignant she's hove into view; 

'Neath the Stars and the Stripes, none can doubt her. 

Intent Kaiser Bill to subdue; 

'Neath the Stars and the Stripes, none can doubt her. 

Intent Kaiser Bill to subdue. 

With the Star Spangled Banner forever, 

Her Sons now are after that knave, 

Her efforts will stop his endeaA^or, 

The whole human race to enslave ; 

May the Aveli that she's weaving surround him, 

Aye, in Liberty's name, she'll subdue; 

May the Yankee's trained legions confound him. 

While led by the Red, White and Blue ; 

May the Yankee's trained legions confound him. 

While led bv the Red. White and Blue. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 59 



WHEN WE ARE AFTER FRITZ. 

! You Fritzies ! ! You Fritzies ! In whom the Kaiser prides ; 

You are the boys who make the noise of bluster and bluff; 

You long have thought that you outclassed the rest of earth besides, 

In war and its inventions, and other kinds of stuff. 

Now the Yanks are after Fritzie, his heels kick up the dust ; 

Yah, Ho ! Ya, Ho ! Just see him go, 

As "O'er the Top" the Yankees drop, 

When we are after Fritz. 

! You Fritzies ! ! You Fritzies ! We Yanks are after you ; 
You'd better run, you thick-skulled Hun, we're going to get your goat, 
We'll make you hike 'way down the pike, that's what we're going 

to do; 
'Tis lots of fun to see him run just like a scared coyote ; 
When the Yanks are after Fritzie his heels scratch up the dust ; 
Yah, Ho ! Yah, Ho ! See Fritzie go. 
As "O'er the Top" the Yankees drop. 
When we are after Fritz. 

! You Fritzies ! O ! You Fritzies, we '11 camp upon your trail, 
And, Mr. Fritz, you'll holler "quits" while still you're on the run; 
You've got to go, you soon will know you're fighting won't avail; 
Don't drag your feet, but make them fleet, we're going to do you done ; 
When the Yanks are after Fritzie his heels are hid by dust; 
Yah, Ho ! Yah, Ho ! See Fritzie go. 
As "O'er the Top" the Yankees drop. 
When we are after Fritz. 



60 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



"BUG-HOUSE" BILL. 

There's a man iu the land of the Prussian mis-rule 

Who had vague and self-satisfied vision ; 
But his actions and deeds have proclaimed him a fool, 

Whom all the world view with derision. 
He started to conquer the whole world beside, 

His record a volume would fill ; 
He has killed, he has maimed, he has tortured and lied ; 

This Kaiser, this "Nut, Bug-House Bill." 

Old Uncle Sam, we're coming! We're coming several millions strong I 
The ])ig event for which we're sent's to change the Kaiser's song. 
We' re piling into Flanders, we 're routed for Berlin ; 
We're after Kaiser William, and we've come across to win; 
We're going to stop his deviltry, of war, he'll get his fill. 
We're on the trail, hotli tooth* and nail, of the "Nut" called "Bug- 
House Bill." 

He's a tyrant we've all set our hearts to dethrone; 

A villain whose morals need training; 
His mind is deranged and, of honor, he's none; 

All History's pages he's straining. 
His vision's distorted, his brain is decay, 

His delight is to ruin and kill ; 
The reign is near over, forever and aye. 

Of this butcher, this "Nut, Bug-House Bill." 

Old Uncle Sam, we're coming, we've stood him long enough; 

His brain is like a crazy quilt, he's full of blow and bluflP; 

We're headed into Germany, we're going to take a hand 

In taming aKisci- William, and expel him from the land; 

We're going to chase his Boche troops o'er river, plain and hill; 

He's like "Old Nick," a lunatic, this "Nut, Bug-House Bill." 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 61 



DER SURVIVAL OF DER FITTEST. 

Scharles Darvin*, many years ago, dit dink dot natures blan 
Vos: "All live creatures haf to go 'til none vos left but man." 
Der blan, as Darvin figured id, to vork der Chermans scheme ; 
Der Cherman hedt's der only hedt vot soaks up Darvin 's dream. 

Und, long ve know dot dis iss righdt ; mineself can do no wrong ; 
So, all der nations I vill fighdt 'til none's left but der schtrong. 
Who iss dot schtrong von, vot surfife? 'Tis "Deutschland Offer All;" 
Mine Kaiser's race, alone, schall lif, und all der rest must fall. 

Long patient years I gif mine thoughts, to pring id all apoud ; 
I trains mit Gott, und Gott mit me, to vork der whole blan oudt. 
All nations off der earth line up 'gainst mine und Gott's decree; 
Dink Chermany dey can disrupt ? Schust vait, und you vill see ! 

Dey line up, all, to make rae quit; dey's bucking Gott und me; 
Dem's nod can fighdt, "Surfife der fit." dot's Me und Chermany. 
A liddle aid, outside, I get, to helub to do der vork ; 
Pulgaria, Austria, und, beside, helbs rae also, der Turk. 

Und, dese I'll get alretty yet, none must surfife but me; 
Dey must go, all, "Surfife der Fit," Der "FIT" is Chermany. 
Oldt Englandt, Felgium, Italy, T schall me make dem quit; 
France, Egypt, Haiti, Uruguay schall nod surfife — UNFIT. 

Bolivia, China, Equador I'll show UNFIT, I shall; 
Brazil und Costa Rica, too, und also Portugal. 
Und Cuba, Guatamala, Greece— I'll gif dem der EXIT: 
Japan, Honduras and Siam schall nod surfife — UNFIT. 

Liberia, Montenegro too, stand also in mine vay; 
Und Panama und far Peru, und Nicaragua. 
Russia und der Unided Schtates, Roumania 's in for idt ; 
San Merino's und Serbia's fates are sealed, dey schust must go — 
UNFIT !** 

Schust ven I gets me fixed, all oudt, I nod can see id's wrong, 
To weed der veak vons, from us oudt, und leave none but der schtrong. 
Der odder nations of der vorld, dey say mine vork iss raw, 
Und dot muneself hass bitten off much more as I can chaw. 



62 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



Dey've bringed der troops, from Englandt 'cross, to fighdt me to 

mine face ; 
Dey say der dings, J 've tried to do, is vile und makes disgrace, 
Unided Schtates und Italy und France say I must quit ; 
Ve'U show dem dot der Kaiser iss : "SURFIVAL OF DER FIT." 

Der vay dey've backed us Chermans up mid spilled us in der mud, 
Und knocked oudt us, on effery handt, und shett us lots der blutt; 
Und schvear dot schtop dev neffer vill undil der Chermans quidt, 
Und dot der Chermans neffer vos: "SURFIVAL OF DER FIT." 



*Charles Darwin, a noted English Naturalist. 
**These nations have all declared war on Germany. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 63 



COME HOME TO YOUR HOME, SWEET HOME. 

When this cruel war's over and Peace and Good Will 

Can abide, once again, on the earth; 
There's a welcome awaits, on each valley and hill 

Of this free-land, the land of your birth. 
When the peace dove, again, wings its way 'cross the sea 

And Ave 're earnestly wishing you'd come; 
When you can, once more, tread the soil of the Free, 

You'll be welcome at home, Sweet Home. 

The traditions of homeland, the land of our pride. 

You're upholding, in deeds that are brave; 
Where the soil of all Europe, in crimson's been dyed, 

By the Kaiser, the consummate knave. 
Your return, we 're awaiting, oh ! soon may it be 

That, Westward, you'll ploy Ocean's foam 
To the Land of the Sunset, of loved Liberty, 

The land of your home, Sweet Home. 

When Honor and Justice and Confidence reign, 

Where Wild Devastation now sweeps 
Over historic valley and battle-scarred plain 

Where brave heroes now sleep their long sleeps. 
Where the murmuring zephyrs breathe softly and low, 

And the tempests of night search the gloom ; 
! Hope of our Nation; You'll rout the vile foe. 

Then come home to your home. Sweet Home. 

You American Freemen! You've never been beat! 

You're espousing the Cause of the Right; 
When the rout of the vandal is full and complete 

We will greet you, at home, with delight. 
When the hosts of the Kaiser are shattered and slain. 

And sent to the realms of the gnome ; 
Then no longer, in Europe, you'll need to remain; 

Come home to your home, Sweet Home. 

Come back to your Homeland, the best land on earth ! 

Where Freedom was fought for, and won ; 
Where a man, as a man, needs no "Blue-Blooded" birth, 

As he does in the land of the Hun. 
We are proud of your deeds for Humanity's sake; 

When o'er Europe, no longer, you roam; 
Return to our land where you can partake 

Of the welcome of home, Sweet Home. 



64 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 

THE MARRIED SLACKER. 

Our brave Yankee boys who have joined in the fight 

And are now far away at the Front, 
Are the boys whom we '11 welcome, again, with delight ; 

We've contempt for the stay homes who don't. 
In Europe, engaged in the crash and the smash, 

In the horrors of war and its din ; 
Ah! "When it's all ended we'll settle the hash 

Of the slacker who's saving his skin. 

They're all round us, at home, each with his excuse, 

As to how and to why he can't go ; 
And his cowardly being will ne'er be of use. 

In helping to vanquish the foe, 
We've the man who "can't go," says: "His conscience it hurts 

To think he can 't go to the Front ; ' ' 
When, really, he hides behind some woman's skirts, 

While true patriots are standing the brunt. 

He buys a few War Stamps, perhaps buys a bond 

While our brave boys are giving their all. 
And going the limit, away 'cross the Pond, 

In response to Humanity's call. 
But the slackers stay home and blatantly tell 

Of the things we must do if we win. 
And our boys, at the Front, brave the tortures of Hell, 

While the slacker is saving his skin. 

He makes a donation, to help the Red Cross, 

And he talks of the "blood-thirsty Hun;" 
Our army's the gold and the slacker's the dross; 

Why doesn't he shoulder a gun 
And get to the Front and help lead the van 

Clear through to the German Berlin? 
Quit playing the ninny, and instead, be a man, 

Not a slacker a saving his skin. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 65 



Come on ! Be a man ! and get into the game ! 

Our country is needing your help ; 
Your slacker's excuse is exceedingly tame, 

Be a man! Not a cowardly whelp. 
Our men, at the Front, who are fighting it through 

And are giving the Hun his deserts, 
Despise you, when telling them what they should do, 

While protected by some woman's skirts. 



66 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



THE KAISER'S UP A TREE. 

Once he could look on everj' hand 

And gloat, to think at his command 

His armies, trained, none could withstand ; 

How fooled he's going to be. 

His orders, swift, were spread about ; 

His dreadful deeds were read about ; 

But now, his armies are in rout 

And he is UP A TREE. 

Time was, when lauded to the skies, 

The German nation's great supplies. 

Throughout the world, none would despise 

Things made in Germany. 

But now, abhorred by small and great. 

She's fallen from her high estate; 

The things she's done have sealed her fate 

And Wilhelm's UP A TREE. 

Ah, Kaiser Bill ! Now Ruin stares. 
Destruction's rampant every wheres, 
Your Cannon's roar and trumpets blares 
Have fixed your destiny. 
Those once your friends are now your foes; 
And you, the cause of all their woes, 
Are doomed ; your reign is near its close 
Because you're UP A TREE. 

0, Wilhelm ! Once a king so great, 
You world-despised degenerate! 
You've fallen from your high estate, 
And all mankind agree. 
Your Hohenzollern line is done. 
You've seen the last of victories won. 
You cruel, vile, abhor-red Hun, 
At last you're UP A TREE. 

Ah, Bill ! You've worked your Kultured stuff 

Just once too often, and your bluff 

The Yanks have called, and though you're tough 

You'll see what you shall see. 

For Uncle Sam will set you right ; 

You'll get no rest by day or night; 

These Yanks will show you how to fight 

And put you UP A TREE. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 67 



YOU'VE NO EQUAL IN HELL BILL, GO 'WAY! GO AWAY! 

' ' To Hell with the Kaiser ! ' ' Each ally now says ; 
He has wandered so far from Humanity's ways, 
With his pillage and plunder and homes set ablaze, 
That the Devil, himself, stands aghast in amaze. 

He's condemned by the public, condemned by the Press; 
By the innocent victims he 's filled with distress, 
'Til they all have a wish thus they express : 
' ' To Hell with the Kaiser ! Put him in duress ! ' ' 

But if he should go there, expecting to stay, 
Will the Devil permit him in Hell for one day? 
When he lands there we think that the Devil will say: 
"You've no equal in Hell, Bill, Go 'way! Go Away!" 

It takes lots of vileness the Devil to feaze ; 
But when he sees Bill, and his war-deviled craze ; 
' ' Go 'way ! Go Away ! " He '11 exclaim in a daze ; 
"Go 'way!" He'll keep yelling as long as Bill stays. 

This, we think, is about what the Devil will do; 
He'll want no Kaiser Wilhelm polluting his crew; 
For he Avell knows the deviltry Wilhelm can brew; 
For he out-devils Satan and all his vile crew. 



68 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



BACKWARD ! TURN BACKWARD, BILL, IN THY FIGHT. 

What we will do to Wilhelm just watch us explain ! 

Your head is all wrong but we will fix it right ; 

You've gone much too far, 

With your Hun God of War, 

And you've got yourself into a terrible plight. 

We've gone 'cross the Deep, 

To put Wilhelm to sleep ; 

Put him to sleep, mother, put him to sleep. 

Backward ! Turn backward, O Bill, just a notch ! 

In licking the world you have made just a botch ; 

The trouble you've made 

With your armies arrayed 

Has caused a reaction, now Bill, just you watch ! 

We've gone 'cross the Deep 

To put Wilhelm to sleep ; 

Put him to sleep, mother, put him to sleep. 

Backward ! Turn backAvard, Bill, worse than Cain ! 

And think : "Would you try this stunt over again?" 

With battle-torn land, 

Made thus at your command ; 

What we Avill do to Wilhelm just watch us explain ! 

We've gone 'cross the Deep 

To put Wilhelm to sleep ; 

Put him to sleep, mother, put him to sleep. 

Backward! Turn backward, bull headed Bill! 

The Yanks are now rampant, they'll give you your fill 

Of war and distress. 

And will make you confess 

That Uncle Sam's doughboys can give Fritz a thrill. 

For they've gone 'cross the Deep 

To put Wilhelm to sleep ; 

Put him to sleep, mother, put him to sleep. 

Backward ! Turn backward, ere Uncle Sam swipes 

Every Hun who opposes our loved Stars and Stripes ; 

We'll make them give in 

As we head for Berlin ; 

As men, they're the vilest of Human Race types. 

The Yanks crossed the Deep 

To put Wilhelm to sleep; 

Put hira to sleep, mother, put him to sleep. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 69 



Backward ! Turn backward, the Yanks still come on ; 

We'll wallop your Bodies 'till Liberty's won; 

We'll heed not your gas 

Or your cannon's loud crash; 

We '11 beat you, Wilhelm ! You son-of-a-gun ! 

For we've come 'cross the Deep 

To put Wilhelm to sleep; 

Put him to sleep, mother, put him to sleep. 



70 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



MAKING GOOD USE OF THE COOTIES. 

When I left ray loved home and went far 'cross the brine 

To fight for my dear native land, 
In my neat uniform I though I could shine, 

And on this 1 had earnestly planned. 
I arrived in the trendies, my mission to fill, 

I w^as feeling quite ehesty, all right, 
And my whole nifty being, with pleasure, athrill, 

All ! 'Twas then that I felt the first bite. 

Well up to the front, T was placed in good time, 

'Way up, near the foe in his ditch ; 
What happened me there I will tell you, in rhyme ; 

For, shortly, I'd started to itch; 
As, nicely located, I sat in my tent 

And considered b}^ station and age, 
I felt little creeps, that thrills through me sent; 

But guessed not what they could presage. 

I opened my shirt and placed my hand in 

And I scratched and I dug all around ; 
The more I had scratched, the more my chagrin. 

You'll believe when I tell what I found; 
I ne'er could realize, 'till I saw it worked out. 

That I'd scratch 'til my flesh badly hurt; 
But it happened me here, ere I put them to rout, 

With the cooties that dwelt in my shirt. 

Yes, I got the vile cooties, I do not know where ; 

And, I think that I never will know; 
I've washed and I've scrubbed, but I still find them there; 

I wish they would stay with the foe. 
I've tidied up often, so clean and so neat, 

And I've thought I was rid of them then; 
With my uniform fresh, and the rest changed complete; 

But the cooties camped with me again. 

Now, I've lately concluded God made the vile things 

For purposes man can't explain; 
I wish, like the bee, the cooties had wings. 

And would fly to the Kaiser's domain. 
I wish they'd all light upon old Kaiser Bill, 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 71 

Whom the Devil, himself, cannot match ; 
(No matter how nerve-racked, no matter hoM^ ill,) 
And, eternally, make Wilhelm scratch. 

AVhen the Allies have conquered and victory's won, 

And the war's awful orgies are through; 
I wish they'd present me this Wilhelm, the Hun, 

And let me do what I would do. 
Then I'd like all the cooties these war camps can hatch, 

Their natures and Wilhelm 's are kin ; 
I 'd put them on Wilhelm and force him to scratch, 

Forever, the BEAST OF BERLIN. 



72 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



THE MELTING POT. 

How many nations do we see 

All fightinja: for Democracy, on Europe's soil? 

We find the Englishman and Turk 

Engaging in War's hellish work, on Europe's soil. 

The Irishman, with Erin's brogue, 

Is fighting with the German rogue, on Europe's soil. 

The fighting Frenchman, of today, 

Will ask you: ''Parlez vous Francais?" on Europe's soil. 

The Yankees, now, are on the win ; 

They're joining in the dreadful din, on Europe's soil. 

The Portuguese, and Indians too, 

Are fighting, there, for me and you, on Europe's soil. 

Romnanians and Poles and Serbs 

Have drank the dregs of bitter herbs, on Europe's soil. 

And Afric, also, sent her sons 

To help to rout the cruel Huns, on Europe's soil. 

The Russians and Bulgarians, too. 

Are fighting in War's awful brew, on Europe's soil. 

Albanians and Slavs and Greeks 

Strike hard against the Turkish sheiks, on Europe's soil. 

And Japanese and Chinamen 

Will ally with Caucasians, then, on Europe's soil. 

Australians and Canadians, too, 

And Sikhs, from India, tread the dew, on Europe's soil. 

And Italy, in war's aligned. 

She shoots the Austria ns. from behind, on Europe's soil. 

This fighting, heterogeneous bunch. 

Have got the grit, they've got the punch, on Europe's soil. 

They'll win the fight of right 'gainst might 

And put the Berlin Beast to flight, on Europe's soil. 

How marvelous the work, that's done. 

That make's the nations fight, as one, on Europe's soil. 

A grateful Avorld, a world set free. 

That's fighting for Democracy, on Europe's soil. 

Will bless this fighting polyglot 

Commingled in the ^lEIiTlNO POT. on Europe's soil. 



THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 73 

AWAKEN, WORLD! BEHOLD THE LIGHT! 

(A Prophecy) 

Awaken, WORLD! Behold the light 

That's hreaking o'er the land where once dwelt Peace! 
And see a nation, prostrate with the blight 

Of despot's sway, emerging from a dynasty's decease. 
Imperial Germany, unsatisfied with means with which to do. 

Had visions of a far-fetched world empire; 
For this she strove, but met her Waterloo 

Hurled back and baffled by a roused World's ire. 

Ambitious tyrants, of the ages past, 

Left history smirched with many a l)loody page; 
And modern peoples hoped they'd seen the last 

Of mad-man tactics of a bygone age. 
Cyrus, of old, and Alexander, had their day; 

And Hannibal, and Caesar backed by ancient Rome; 
And other monsters sped their nations to decay 

And robbed themselves of empire, state and home. 

Napoleon, last of empire seekers of the past. 

Relentless, madly swept o'er Europe's hills and and plains; 
He fought, and won, — his conquests did not last ; — 

Then, stripped of power, small vestisre of his empire remains. 
Now Wilhelm comes, too dense to profit by examples set. 

He plunges in, as others did before; 
Backward he's flung, and caught within the meshes of his net 

Of power he's shorn, his hapless reign is o'er. 

Now, on the ruins of a devastated land that's been 

Laid waste, of men depopulated by his war, 
Shall rise a nation ruled by better men 

Than Hohenzollern mothers ever bore. 
Awake! World! No more thou 'It see 

A land oppressed by monarchs reekinsr guilt; 
Though harsh has been the menus. Germany! 

Thou'lt lift thy head, purged by the blood that's spilt. 

No more thy people, trampled in the dust like cringing slave, 

Shall render homage to an emperor or tool 
Of Hohenzollern or of dastard Swabian knave 

Who has not wit to lead and cannot rule. 
0, People of the World! Let's pause, and gaze 



74 THE ANTI-KAISER POEM BOOK 



Adown the vistas of far brighter days unborn; 
Let's look, and see what's shaping through the haze 
Of ruined Europe, scathed and battle torn. 

No longer will they tolerate their kings 

And emperors and czars and shahs, — the Old World's bane, 
That hover over tottering thrones, which like the parisitic dodder 
clings 

To living plants, sapping their strength and giving nothing 
back again. 
All monarchies are doomed, themselves have wrought it out ; 

War's corrugated front no more intimidates; 
But new and better nations from their ruins will, no doubt 

Arise ; all patterned on the plan of the United States. 

Kussia, the Great, for centuries oppressed; 

The Finns, the Serbs, the Greeks descendants of an empire old ; 
And Germany and Austria and all the rest; 

A congeries of nations, independent each, and self controlled. 
The agony, oppression and distress they bore, 

Seems as an awful sacrifice that had to be 
To rouse downtrodden people as they'd never been before, 

And rend the tyrant's chains that fettered Liberty. 

Now, safely guarded by their Constitutions of a Freeman's make, 

As safeguards from a despot's hungry maw; 
You, with your fellow men. shall make all tyrants quake; 

Protected by a Constitution as your Fundamental Law. 
This, T predict, will be the future lot 

Of nations; — tliink not 'tis a visionary poet's trance: 
These newer nations, to be born, shall live when monarchs are forgot 

Whose deeds are written as a tale of wild romance. 

Whate'er betides, whate'er the end vshall be; 

A freeman set of nations, clear from Belgium to Siam, 
For aiding in their fight for Liberty 

Shall thank the God of Hosts and Uncle Sam. 
Perhaps a GREAT UNITED STATES OF ALL THE WORLD will be 

Wrought out and made a common barrier 'gainst such foes ; 
In Freedom's cause conceived, a glorious confraternity 

Of States for mutual benefit and interchange; who knows? 



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